Bethany House Publishers
It was over a booth of Italian food in Pueblo, Colorado, that I (Susie) had the privilege of talking with Brooke and Chrissy—both eighteen years old and in the middle of their senior year in high school. We talked about teen girls and their relationships with Mom.
Both girls are solid Christians and involved in their church. They both love their moms, but like all teen girls, they expressed frustration with communication, pressure, and a desire to grow closer to their moms as a friend.
"She used to be an authority figure in my life," Brooke said. "But now that I'm gearing up to leave for college, she's becoming more of a friend."
We'll chat about the different life stages moms and daughters grow through in the coming chapters. We'll also discuss the importance of establishing and maintaining a close, growing relationship between mom and daughter.
"My mom is my absolute best friend," Chrissy piped. "My friends love her too."
Brooke laughed. "It's true. Her mom is really fun!"
"Finish this sentence for me," I said. "I wish my mom would ..."
Both girls thought. Chrissy chewed a bit of meatball and Brooke put her fork down.
"I wish my mom would include me with her girl friends," she said.
I nearly choked on my meatball. "What?!"
Brooke repeated what I thought I'd heard. "I wish my mom would include me with her girl friends."
"Brooke, that's awesome! But I have to tell you ... I've never heard a teen girl say that!"
"Well, I've noticed that Mom has some really genuine friends. They're women I admire. Every now and then they go out to lunch or they'll get together and paint. It's really cool."
I smiled ... imagining her mom would light up if she knew this. "Brooke, have you shared this with your mom?"
"She doesn't know that I'd like to be a part of that, and it would be hard for me just to ... you know ... bring it up. It would feel weird to ask to be included."
I couldn't help but think of my friends who have teen daughters and how they'd feel as though they'd won the lottery if they had any idea that their daughters would enjoy spending time with them and their friends.
And I remembered a conversation I'd had with seventeen-year old Mallory a few years earlier. "You and my mom have been friends since college," Mallory said. "I want to go to a Christian college just so I can make some genuine, lifetime friends with Christian girls. I want what you and my mom have."
Moms, does this surprise you?
Daughters, will you take the initiative, if necessary, to tell your mom what you need and want from her?
As you hike through the pages of this book together, both of you will be asked to take the ultimate challenge of a lifetime. You'll be asked to make a covenant: moms, with your daughters; daughters, with your moms; both wrapped in a holy relationship with God.
When this sacred mother-daughter covenant is truly understood and lived out, it changes everything! The crisis in homes due to the lack of understanding, failure to trust, and unnecessary separation between moms and daughters will fade.
This covenant will affect everyone in the family, and you'll read stories of how it has changed lives.
Here For You: Creating a Mother-Daughter Bond That Lasts a Lifetime by Susie Shellenberger & Kathy Gowler
Copyright © 2007; ISBN 9780764203749
Published by Bethany House Publishers
Used by permission. Unauthorized duplication prohibited.